Q&A with me!!!

I got messages from some people asking me questions, this is my shot at answering them! Remember, I may not be completely right but I think I may be close enough!

Are you in a relationship?

I am not in a relationship but thanks for bringing that fact up! Why? I would absolutely love to say that boys on this side of the world are JERKS however, this is far from the truth! The truth is I am one of those judgmental bitch who would dump someone if they did not bring me the right type of chocolate. I have high standards, let's just say no one has yet to meet them (except my celebrity crushes).

What's the worse part of dating?

Completely disregard the picture, dating is not that bad.....right? 

First dates are terrifying and nerve racking to everyone...even if you're the most seasoned dater! I would rank this as the ultimate worse but then again I will also put first fights and breakups there as well.

How do I tell if I am in a bad relationship?

If you have to ask yourself this question, then I'm guessing you're not! You shouldn't have to question whether the relationship is bad or good, all relationships should give you the feeling of protection, love and trust. You should never be harmed, lied to, cheated on, etc.. 

Trust me!

I just broke up with my boyfriend (again) should I get back with him?

It's kind of hard to answer this question. I don't know you or your history with the dude. I think you should just go with your instincts, if you feel that the relationship won't go anywhere then why waste your time? Just look at the pro's and con's of the relationship, is there more negativity than positive? 

I won't push my opinions on you but from my perspective you already gave him a chance and if it was you who initiated both breakups, I don't see a future.

Any pet peeves about the single life?

I hope by this gif you may realize that I have LOADS of them! They're so much I think I may just write a complete post about it! Thanks for the idea though!

I'll answer all questions regardless of how ridiculous it may be! Send it at findingmrright94@gmail.com 

Places Not to go on first dates!!

I know it may be hard to comprehend but there are places that you can go that might determine whether your date will be successful or unsuccessful! This post is dedicated to places NOT to bring your future boyfriend/girlfriend on first dates!!

 

Number 1: Dumpster Diving 

Some of you may think this is bizarre and there can not possibly be people thinking about actually doing that! I am here to tell you that there are some weird *coughs* people in this world that are so frugal they are willing to get food from dumpsters because it is cheaper! 

This is not romantic! It is disgusting and I don't think that going in the middle of the night, eating god-knows-what is something that should be done on first date! 

Do me a favor and cross that off your list!

Number 2: Fast food restaurants

I was having lunch with a friend a couple days ago and I saw this young couple come into the restaurant, at first I was like "OMG they are adorable!" Then I saw what they ordered and I was like, "No way in hell is he going to bring me out on a date in places like this!" The couple ordered the deal of the day which was like a mini burger, small fries and a drink (approximately $6). Now if they ordered two of this I would been half happy but the two kids ordered one and shared it, they came in when I finished my fries and left when I was almost done my burger (I am no slow eater)! HELL NO!! Going to a fast food place is ok but only if there was like a combination!

If you too broke to buy me a proper dinner, then darling you too broke to be at my level!

Number 3: His house

Going to his house may be a great "romantic" idea but let's get some facts out: 1-You don't know him 2- It's not a public place with other people out and 3- guys get "ideas" in their heads! All are recipe for disaster! 

If he lives at home with his parents then he has to introduce you to his family, I think its a bit too soon for that, don't you?

His house, his rules, his territory! At least in a public place you have an escape plan and all that!

Number 4: Movies

Yes, I know this is where everybody goes on a first date but I really don't think that it is a suitable place for dates. 

I don't know about you ladies but when I am watching a movie I don't want any one bothering me (especially if Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman is in it)! The whole point of dates is to get to know each other, movies are more of a me time type of thing than we time!

Also, a dark room? Guess who's going to get touchy touchy? First dates is not suppose to go there so soon! Your date deserves your undivided attention, in movies all my attention is on the screen, my drink and my popcorn! If you dare try to come between that, you're getting knocked out! #TrueStory

Number 5: Strip Clubs/Bars/Parties

Need I say anything here?? 

Strip clubs is where pathetic single ladies and lusty men go to ogle people! A date there? Maybe not, after all you're going to be compared to all those half naked women doing stuff that you never thought was possible!

Bars is where you go to meet people, why go there if you already have someone? #Logic

Parties is where you see couples dancing their lives away so why put yourself in such an uncomfortable situation?

Number 6: Hotel/Cabins/Motels

Never ever think about going to a place that is for rendezvous....well unless you want a one night stand!

I really don't think you should give the dude something to look forward to that not's going to happen, remember unmet expectation leads to anger that leads to.... well, I am sure you know what! 

Hotel (unless it is a restaurant) is a no fly zone for me, I want a relationship not a booty call! 

Number 7: His car

I really could not find the right phrase for this but what I meant was that you should not just jump into someone's car that you don't know heading off to God knows where unless you want to be killed, raped, kidnapped or you're a sex worker! 

I doubt you may want that! So always know where you are heading since you may never know where you may end up! Remember, Ted Bundy, who was convicted of 30 murders, was often described as attractive, charismatic and articulate. Look at his pictures here.

Number 8: The Mall

We all know the saying that men hates shopping, so I really don't think taking (or forcing) him to go to the mall on a first date is a good idea! Not everyone is into fashion, if he really is, sorry to break it to you but you're probably a backup plan or a coverup!
Also, going to the mall would probably give him an anxiety attack since it would be a flashforward to what the relationship will be like! This is a great way to not go on a second date!

Number 9: Sporting Events

Its a sweet thought to have, going to a game where you are cheering for the same side and making memories! That would be great but let's face it, this world is not perfect and such scenes are only available in Hollywood movies!
Sporting events brings out the worse in everybody, they become competitive and aggressive! I don't know about you guys but if I am backing a team and they're losing I feel like punching whoever backs the winning team (imagine if that's my date)!
Plus, guys normally goes crazy for sports, try getting his attention off the game!!

Number 10: Religious Event

It's just awkward!!
Don't think because you like this religion the other person would like it too! Hello! It's the 21st century not the 1st century, you don't need to introduce your potential partner to Jesus to get his approval before taking it further!
If you're religious, church can be saved for a later (much later) date! 

Things to do to prepare yourself for a date!!

I was lost with what my next post was going to be about but my friend (Christina) suggest that I should write something about how to prepare yourself for a date! 

The following guidelines is what I would do before going on a date!

Hygiene! 

No one wants to go out with someone that looks dirty! So the first thing that you should always do before heading to that date is to make sure that you are proper!

Taking a nice warm bath will totally loosen you up, it will make you feel less tense (in case you are nervous) in addition to making your skin glow and making you smell awesome!

Brush your teeth! Trust me, your date will not want to see what you ate for lunch when he leans in to give you the "hello" kiss! 

Shave! Ladies, please make everything less hairy, remember you are trying to get a boyfriend not bigfoot! They may have the same acronyms but they are completely different from each other (*HINT*: one is human!)

Deodorant! Chances are you're going to be sweating up a storm so if you don't want to turn your date off you should make sure that your deodorant works properly and doesn't leave you smelly! 

Makeup!

Even if you don't like wearing any makeup, I will advise you to at least add something to your face! Never ever go out to a date like if you are lounging around in your living room! 

There are makeup that can give you the nude look that you may like while pumping up your best features! Add some lipstick/gloss, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow (if you're feeling risky) and face powder!

What I don't ever want you to do is to leave your house looking like a freaking clown or rainbow, if he wanted a freakshow he would have probably asked Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj lookalikes out to dinner!

Your makeup should leave him asking, "OMG is she wearing any?" not "OMG she is wearing loads!" 

        Never Leave Your House like this!                                                 Go for this look!

Outfit!

Ladies! The clothing you wear to go on a first date will totally mean a lot in the long run! 

First of all, wear something that you are comfortable in, now don't go running to your closet and pulling off your best PJ's to wear! When I say comfortable I mean something that makes you look absolutely gorgeous and you have no problem wearing it!

Say you are a jeans kinda girl, don't ever think about wearing a very short dress knowing that you will be pulling it down every couple seconds and asking yourself if you look ok! That does not make you look confident just insecure and would probably make you more nervous!

Second! Figure out where the date is going to be and dress to fit! You don't want to be heading off to the movies wearing a semi-formal dress, you'll look overdressed and probably snobby! If you're going to an ice cream parlour, movies, mall, his house you'll want to wear something casual and if you're going to a dinner where you have to make reservation I think your little black dress will be perfect! 
On a side note, don't ever misrepresent yourself, be you! You should never try to become someone that you think he is attracted to, he should ask you out on another date because he likes you! Remember, life is not Hollywood, you can't adopt or drop an image of yourself like many celebrities do when acting in movies!

Backup Plans

You need to create back up plans in case something goes wrong on the date! It gives you time to evaluate the situation and lowers the chance of you doing something rash!
I always tells myself that I need to prepare myself because something will always go wrong! Here's a few of mine: 
-If I don't like him then I will either create some sort of emergency like my dog ran away (I don't have a dog) or my friend needs my help to do something that she can't do by herself! As a rule I don't lie on anyone's health!
-If I find the date is going to far too fast then I will use the popular excuse and say I have to go use the ladies room! Some guys are far too touchy for me!!
-If there is awkward silence, as a rule I start talking about the weather, childhood memories, favourite things to do, movies, celebrities etc... just don't let it have any silence (but don't come off like a chatterbox either). As my friend Christina told me, "No one wants to be on a date with awkward silence, no conversation, the date won't go smooth!"
NOTE: If you are depending on your date to take you to wherever the date is, always ensure that you have back up cash, after all you may need to take a cab home or you may need to pay for your own food!!

Dollar Store!

This is a bit unconventional but before going out I always head to a dollar store to grab some items that I may need in small quantities that I won't necessarily use again! All ladies need to carry a medium size purse on a date; small purses is for nightclubs, bars or parties, larger purses means that you intend to spend the night whereas medium purses just say none of your business, I'll do whatever I want!!
Okay so when I go to the dollar store I buy tissues (small packet ones), packet of gum (to get the food out of teeth), a cosmetic purse (to put my sanitary napkins just in case mother nature fucks me over) and hand sanitizer (they dry your hands out so it won't be sweaty and icky if your date tries to hold hands)!

Pep Talk!!

You need to talk to yourself! Don't ever say "Oh I'll just go with the flow!" because you might just end up in his bed followed by the hospital bed nine months later! You need to set your limits and tell yourself that you will stick to it! 
Also, Pep talks will erase any of your nervousness and leave you feeling enthusiastic, motivated and with the determination to make the date a success!

It is never silly to seek advice from people that you know will give you the real shit without being fake about it! Always tell someone the location that you are going and with who, regardless of how grown up you may think you are, there are some weird motherf**kers out there! Always ensure that you have a way of communicating with your parents and/or friends since when you take that bathroom break you may want advice on what to do next!

Picking a Woman by the type of shoes she wears!

Okay so I did one for the ladies now I doing one for the men before they accuse me of being sexist!

Men, here's how to pick a woman based on the shoes she is wearing! 

Number 1: Stilettos / Heels

So we are all thinking it but no one wants to say it out loud! A woman in heels like that is definitely a risk taker! 

Stop!! Let me rephrase that! Look at the way she walks in it, is she confident? or do she look like she is walking on ice? I remember wearing this for my prom and I felt like I was sexy, insane (and in pain)! 

Women in this heel all the time have a great sense of fashion, loves to look taller than men and of course, will be knocking back tequilas all night!! They are BOLD and love to be seen and Heard!!

Number 2: Wedges

This is my best friend! I love it! It offers me the height that makes me look absolutely sexy and the comfort with the knowledge that I won't fall on my face!

Women in this type of shoes are practical with a down-to-earth type of attitude!! 

They will get risky with their drinks but don't make any mistakes about it, they have their head in their game! 

Number 3: Flats

"Flats , they're versatile, and cute,"- Jodi
I have no problem with wearing flats, but to wear them all the time is bit too much!
If you stick to wearing only that then it shows that you can't get out of the box!

The woman in this shoes choose comfort over style, they will be the ones that can get ready in five minutes and has no problem with being on time! 

Number 4: Boots

Sex appeal! Sex appeal! Sex appeal!

Boots are not only for the winter! They can turn any outfits into something straight off the runway!

Women in boots are socially active, they will be able to start off any conversation with everybody! They are viewed as "fashionistas" or "bitches" by people who don't know them!

People who live in this shoes are high maintenance, they will take their time getting ready and will never leave the house looking any thing other than perfect!  

They know how to get the party started and think it is fashionable to be late!

Number 5: Sneakers

Everyone owns at least one pair of sneakers in their closet!

This is for the women who live in those shoes, they are typically mothers on the run who will choose their shoe base on practical reason not fashion! 

They don't care about how it looks as long as it feels good on their feet! 

Women in this shoes enter into a bar only to leave sober and may only order a glass of water! 

Number 6: Wedge heel sneakers

This is a girl's best friend!

It is a bridge between boyishness and girlishness! They offer a girl that is not into fashion a practical look (sneakers) but with a hint of sexiness (heel)!

Any woman who wears this shoes shows that she is in touch with both her masculine and feminine side and is not afraid to show it!!

On the other hand, she may be a bit on the short side and is looking for an unnoticeable way to boost her height! 

Number 7: Flip Flops

Here is a woman that has a carefree state of mind! They are willing to go outside in the sexiest type of outfit and wear the easiest shoes known to man!

Women like this are constantly on the go, I can see her rushing from place to place, getting things done! 

Number 8: Sandals

All girls should have tons of sandals! They are cute, quirky, casual and totally summer looking! 

You can't be a girl without owning one!

THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY!

Number 9: Peep Toes

I always thought that women who wears peep toes are the ones that when given an opportunity will become wild! 

These shoes makes the girl look as sweethearts but don't be fooled, when they allow themselves to go have fun, they know just how to do it!

In bars she will order nice drinks not hardcore ones and would rather spend nights at the theatre than at a bar but are down to doing either one!  

They are modern with a touch of vintage, classy with a touch of daring and stable!

 

Number 10: Mary Janes

I never knew the right name for those shoes so I always call it the shoes that my great-grandmother use to wear! Quite a mouthful but apparently this shoes is the new trend!

Women who wear them are really sweethearts, they wait around for men to approach them without taking initiatives!

Okay, lets get something straight!

I know a girl changes her shoes every time she wears a new outfit, I am not telling you that her personality/mood changes each time she wears a new shoes. I am telling you to look at the majority type of shoes that she owns and then that's her personality! 

Also, a woman wears a shoes that she feels like wearing so the shoes that you saw her wearing that night that's who she is!

Picking your Boyfriend based on his shoes!!

So I know this may be hard to believe but you can decide whether you want to date someone based on what they wear- in this section I will try to give you the type of man just by looking at his shoes!!

Correct me if I am wrong!

Number 1: Vans

Because this company is well known known for their slip ons expect the man wearing them to be super chill! They are known for being "skater posers" (someone who pretends to skate). Despite how easy it is to put those shoes on, expect the man who is wearing them to always comes late to whatever that is planned!

Number 2: Mocs 

These shoes scream high maintenance so don't expect the men who wear them to scream
low maintenance! This dude knows how to dress to impress and you might just fall head over heels with his fashion style before getting to know the dude behind it! He is always neat, clean, tidy and hair gel to impress!



Number 3: Dress Shoes

I always wanted to know if people wear shoes like that outside the office and church!
Men in dress shoes screams high quality, they have a good job (hopefully) and high self-respect! Look how clean and glossy the shoes are, so don't ever expect them to go muck about in dirty places! He is pulled together so expect him to be on time and always RSVP you away to dinner! (Unless he borrow those off of somebody then he is BROKE!)


Number 4: Merrell or any Ugly looking shoes

I don't want this to come off as offensive but any guy who wears shoes that yells ugly is a mommy's boy! His mother may have bought him this and chances are still shop for his clothes! 
Don't get me wrong some Merrells are actually really cute but there are those that are too ugly to stomach!
Ugly or shoes that looks like it was bought years ago means he probably still lives at home or accept money from his parents (not a bad thing)!




Number 5: Jordans

We all know men that are obsess with this brand of shoes! They will go through anything to hold the latest pair, this shows that they are devoted and loyal! On the flip side, he will miss out on everything if it means getting the newest brand! By the way never ask a "Jordan Addict" to make a choice between his Jays and you, chances are you won't like his final decision!




Number 6: Flip Flops 

According to many hip hop artists men are not allowed to wear flip flops! 
Okay so the guys who don't give a f**k and wears them anyway deserves an award!
I am not talking about only wearing it to the beach but the men that are committed to wearing flip flops with everything (Tux, long pants, suits, to a wedding etc..) 
This man only cares about doing what makes him happy not what makes society happy! He is super cool to be around and extremely laid back! He don't want to be laced up but only free!

Number 7: Converse

Remember when you use to rock those converse as a kid? Yep, men who wear them hold on to their childhood days!
They are fun, crazy, ultra relaxed, he probably don't take himself seriously but still an okay kind of guy!
I find that converse guys are very romantic that will eventually end up married and become the goofiest dad who will buy his children converse (of course)!
Converse are AWESOME, the guy in it AWESOME-R!

Number 8: Timberlands

Men who wear winter Timberland in the summer is just begging to be diss! I mean they are probably nice dudes trying to fit into the rough looking dude category so that they can get the girls! 
They need big feet to pull off this classic look so *clears throat* Ladies, you know what that means?












Number 9: Sneakers- New Balance

Sorry to bust your bubble but men wearing sneakers are definitely nerds! But they are so cool to have around that we forget the fact that they are!
They like comics, hate gym, probably wear glasses, rather stay at home than go to a bar but when he gets a girlfriend, he will treat her like a Queen!! 
Ladies tend to overlook their sweet nature because they are so quiet but they have no idea what they are missing! NO IDEA!






Number 10:Toms

Since this shoes is Uni-sex it tells you that this guy is comfortable with his sexuality, he knows what he is and don't care what others think he is! He loves that he is comfortable, ethical and stylish all at the same time! 
This shoes is versatile so the man must be down for anything!

Signs you are dating a Frog not a Prince!

People if your boyfriend / girlfriend is a frog, stop kidding yourself, you'll probably have to wait until hell freezes over for him/her to turn into a prince or a Princess.

The following is some qualities to ensure that you don't get stuck in a FROGGY situation:

Warning: I don't guarantee any results as my prescription may allow you to escape from an unhappy relationship however, one of the side effects may leave you lonely, desperate and single. Viewers read and follow at your own risk!  

Number 1: Eyes on other women

This can typically be seen on the first date. I mean if his/her eyes is not on you the first time you officially go out then that means that you have little interest to them and later on in the relationship that interest would decrease even further. Ladies, do not slutify (my new word) yourself and Men, do not pretend to be something that you are not to keep their attention. 

If their eyes are on other women, they are frogs that won't ever be turned into a Prince. If you ignore this sign they will become slippery little creatures, that will eventually cheat on you and have side bitches!

Number 2: Being Pressured

This may be hard to figure out but I got ya!

Any time words such as "If you love me then you will sleep with me" comes out of his/her beautiful mouth then it's not  a relationship. You should not have to prove your love to each other, your partner should be willing to wait until you are ready. This typically happens to females (sorry guys), if that happens to you I want you to look into his eyes and say, "If you love me, prove it by not asking me to fuck you." Ladies, don't be pressured to have sex, you should only do it when you are ready and not to save a relationship. 

Keep in mind: When I talk about being pressured to do something, sex is not the only thing it applies to. Drugs, alcohol, parties, sexting and oral sex. I am sure that you would be able to come up with lots more, the main thing is that you should not be pressured!

Number 3: Targeting your body size

No one should be told they are too fat or too thin. If your partner picks on how you look then that is not the right relationship to have. You should never be told to lose weight, do any plastic surgery or butt lift or boob jobs! They should love you for who you are not for you changing yourself to become the anorexic or fake ass people that is idolized in the media.  Men, women should never tell you to get some muscles or lose some belly fat, you are you and if they can't face the fact that you won't be a Channing Tatum or Brad Pitt lookalike, they don't deserve you!

Number 4: Abuse

Newsflash! Abuse can happen to men too!! 

Regardless of your sex in a relationship you should never allow yourself to be abused. There are many types;

Sexually- no means no!

Verbally- Yelling, swearing

Emotionally- insults, public embarrassment

Mentally- lying, manipulating and controlling you

Physically- beating, laying their hands on you

If this ever happens don't ever believe that they will turn into something better!

Number 5: Cheaters!! 

The first sign that will tell you that your Prince type of story is not going to happen when you're in a relationship is if your partner is cheating!

Darling, you got yourself a frog if he/she avoids your question, smells like another woman/man, gets all defensive when asked a simple question and most of all hides their phone and passwords from you. 

Never ever fool yourself by saying it only happen once and he/she won't do it again, honey sorry to tell you but once a Cheater, always a cheater! 

So do me a favour, protect your heart, protect your health because when they break away from you, you may never know what "gifts" they may bring back. 

Number 6: Best friends not Slaves

This applies to people that are married, living together and thinking about moving in with each other.

It's suppose to be an equal relationship, sharing everything with each other. That means you should not be doing everything like a freaking slave while he/she sits their ass down watching some dumb show on the television. 

Don't ever put yourself in the position where you have to clean up after your partner. Frogs keep their flies to themselves whereas Princes' and Princess' learn to share!

Number 7: Independent

Nothing is more annoying than being in a relationship where your partner is dependent on you to do their shit!

Frogs wait for things to come to them whereas royalty gets up and get things done. 

Don't ever mix up laziness with love, you should have someone that is able to support themselves when you are not around and create fireworks when you guys come together! 

I am not saying that dependence is a bad thing, its actually a sweet thought to have but there is a fine line. Becoming clingy makes you or your partner look desperate and a desperate boyfriend/girlfriend is annoying! 

Number 8: Employed or Not Employed, that is the question!

Let's get this straight, it is okay to get fired once in a while but to be repeatedly fired every few weeks is not a good recipe for a relationship. 

No one wants a broke boyfriend/girlfriend, well lets put it this way, no one wants a broke partner that is unemployed! If they're not able to hold a job down then it shows that they lack the stability that one needs in life.

A job is important and if you can't have one because you keep fucking it up then you won't be able to use me to buy whatever you want. 

Remember it all comes back to independence, having a job prevents you from becoming dependent and closes off all possibilities of being abused!

Number 9: Dress Code

I don't want to come off as a superficial bitch but we all judge people based on the clothing they wear. 

From my point of view, I can decide whether my partner will be a Prince or a frog based on how they dress. If they are dirty, untidy, mismatched and have a stench about them then chances are I won't be getting my Prince. I don't want them to be super neat but I don't want them to be going around like a homeless drug addict either. 

I want you to pick the type of person that you want, not the type you think you want or your parents want but the type YOU want! This is a tricky situation since if you pick someone that you really don't want (sloppy or slutty dresser) then you will try to change them into someone who they will never be (neat or modest dresser) which leads them into becoming a frog (in your opinion).

Number 10: Interaction with others

So it all comes down to this, you want to know whether he/she is a Prince or a frog? Just watch how they interact with others! 

Is he/she rude or patient? Sincere or fake? Generous or stingy? Violent or Calm? 

A Prince/Princess won't wait to introduce you to their close friends and family, they won't try to hide you away as if they were ashamed of you and most of all their interaction with unfortunate people will leave you in tears.

Now before you go storming away yelling BULLSHIT, I want you to think about your ex-boyfriends, what qualities did they have that turned you off? Now I want you to think about your future boyfriends, what attitude do you want them to have?

Remember a Prince will always be a gentleman and a Princess will always be a lady but that does not mean that they will be a cold, calculating and unexciting! 

Frogs may never turn into Princes' or Princess' but then again, there is a 50-50 chance on everything in life, you may be successful or you may not be successful!